英語版『銀河鉄道の夜』最新版第5稿
教養レベルにおいて,『英語で読む 銀河鉄道の夜』(宮沢賢治作,ロジャー・パルバース訳,ちくま文庫)を選択教材としています。
翻訳者のロジャー・パルバース氏は,「宮沢賢治だったら,あー,きっとこういう表現をするんだろう」と半ばトランス状態になって翻訳に取り組んだそうです。2013年には,宮沢賢治の詩集を翻訳した "Strong in the Rain"(2007) で野間文芸翻訳賞を受賞しています。ほかに井上ひさし原作『父と暮らせば』の翻訳も手がけています。
英語で書かれた『銀河鉄道の夜』を精読することで,淡く美しい賢治独特の文体をより身近に感じることができ,「外国語を知らない者は,自国語についても無知である」というゲーテの言葉を再認識しました。
現在,書店に並んでいる『英語で読む 銀河鉄道の夜』は,パルバース氏の翻訳第4稿を出版したものですが,2011年に 電子書籍『Night On The Milky Way Train』(2011) で最新版第5稿を発表しています。常に better を希求するパルバース氏の姿勢に,賢治に対する強烈な思いが伝わってきます。
第4稿から最新版第5稿の改訂箇所
1. 午后の授業 *Last updated: 2016/3/1
(p.17, l.14) as the [a] Celestial River
(p.19, l.13) This very much [closely] resembles
(p.19, l.17) from the centre [center] to the edge[,] and the Earth is very close by it [not far away].
(p.19, l.20) a few grains ... [―] stars, I mean ... [―] shining.
(p.19, l.24) shining grains ... [―] stars, I mean ... [―] and the
(p.20, l.01) look directly into[,] the more blurry [and] milky-white
(p.20, l.13) and slammed down [shut].
2. 活版所 *Last updated: 2016/3/1
改訂箇所なし。
3. 家 *Last updated: 2016/3/1
(p.33, l.02) You have some [eat] first, dear.
(p.33, l.13) 'I'll have them then . [,]' Giovannni took himself a [taking the] plate of
(p.33, l.16) he said [added], munching
(p.35, l.10) otterskin [otter] coat
(p.35, l.22) I used to go all the time [lots of times] on my way home
(p.37. l.12) end of the block [street].
(p.39, l.06) closed the window,[and] put away his plate and the remaining bread , [.] whipped his shoes on and said...
(p.39, l.09) in an hour and a half . [,]' [he said, whipping his shoes on.]
4. ケンタウル祭の夜 *Last updated: 2016/4/15
(p.41, l.03) town[,] down a slope that was a pitch black [pitch-black] tunnel
(p.41, l.07) he steadily made his way [steadily] toward the lamp[,] his
(p.41, l.11) until turning around to his [Giovanni's] side.
(p.43, l.02) circle and [now] it's right
(p.43, l.09) Giovanni wanted [was about] to say
(p.43, l.12) Zanelli yelled [hollered] nastily
(p.45, l.09) had a bright [radiant] fluorescent light
(p.45, l.13) the colour [color] of the sea.
(p.45, l.18) decorated with green [blue] asparagus leaves.
(p.47, l.04) middle...[,] a smoky zone
(p.47, l.06) vapours of steam [steamy vapors] rising,
(p.47, l.08) Furtheer into [In the depths of] the shop
(p.47, l.21) and [deliberately] straining to swell up his chest on purpose, even
(p.49, l.05) among the dark blue branches
(p.49, l.15) As they happily played [happily], fireworks
(p.49, l.17) was [lost in thoughts] far away
(p.49, l.23) the dairy and stopped [stood] by
(p.49, l.24) He took off his cap,
(p.51, l.01) calling out...
(p.51, l.02) 'Good evening.[,]' [he called out, removing his cap.]
(p.51, l.03) But it [It] looked quiet inside, without [and there wasn't] a soul
(p.51, l.22) you,[!]' [He] bowed and left.
(p.53, l.13) Zanelli hollered...[.]
(p.53, l.15) Immediately everyone [Everyone immediately] joinded in...[.]
(p.55, l.10) thought that Giovanni was just running ro the fun of it, funny as he ran, hopped about
5. 天気輪の柱 *Last updated: 2016/3/3
(p.59, l.07) steadily up a [straight and] narrow path that was like a thread illuminated by
(p.59, l.11) rendering their leaves a tranparent blue
(p.59, l.12) reminding him of the [snake gourd] lanterns that all the
(p.59, l.14) out of the pitch[-]black pine
(p.61, l.14) could faintly hear [catch] snatches
(p.61, l.11) like a long flat mushroom.
6. 銀河ステーション *Last updated: 2016/3/3
(p.65, l.14) phosphorescent cuttle fish [cuttlefish] had fossilised [fossilized] at
(p.67, l.03) the price skyhigh [sky-high], turning
(p.67, l.17) jet-black wet coat [jacket] poking
(p.71, l.04) the very beginning[,] but
(p.73, l.12) with little whistlestops [whistle stops] and
(p.73, l.16) Giovanni was convinced that [sure] he had
(p.75, l.01) [, said] Giovanni[,] pointed [pointing] to
(p.75, l.03) 'Right. ['That's right,' said Campanella.] [']Oh, good heavens!
(p.75, l.06) the Milky Way glisten [glittering] with
(p.75, l.12) Giovanni, feeling [felt] so elated that[,] he wanted to
(p.75, l.13) jump up and down,[.] [He] tapped his feet,
(p.75, l.14) and, standing [as] tall [as he could] on tiptoes,
(p.75, l.21) than hydrogen...[.] and maybe [Maybe] it was
(p.75, l.24) ripples or glistening [glimmering] rainbows
(p.77, l.02) triangular turrets, beautifully [perfectly] erect,
(p.77, l.04) distinctly yellow [and] bitter-orange,
(p.77, l.08) shape of lightning...[.]
(p.77, l.08) but [But] they were all in place [lines], filling
(p.77, l.10) Giovanni felt his heart throbbing down to his toes [more excited than he had ever been], and
(p.77, l.14) turrets began to tremble [sway] and flicker,
(p.77, l.15) breathing themselves...[.]
(p.77, l.19) adding, '[Oh,] This [this] train isn't burning coal at all.[!]'
(p.77, l.23) clanking its way through [along] the pampas grass
(p.77, l.24) waved in the sky, and through the waters
(p.79, l.17) past them...[,] and then another, and another...[,] cups
7&8. 北十字とプリオシン海岸 *Last updated: 2016/4/18
(p.81, l.06) the orange-cloured [orange-colored] turret
(p.81, l.14) somewhat surprised himself [taken aback].
(p.83, l.02) a person creates [people create] happiness around him when he does [when they do] something good.
(p.83, l.08) All at once [,] the inside
(p.83, l.13) an island surrounded by [bathed in] an aura
(p.83, l.24) crystal rosaries about [around]
(p.87, l.01) in prayer... [,] all
(p.87, l.06) With time the island
(p.87, l.08) the Milky Way glimmered [glowed] through
(p.87, l.13) the appeared again [reappeared] like
(p.87, l.16) twice eclipsed
(p.87, l.17) the rain [,] and [they caught glimpses of] Swan Island [now] appeared far back
(p.87, l.18) a little picture. [, until] The [the] pampas
(p.89, l.02) The passengers quietly returned to thier seats [in silence],
(p.89, l.05) they had never [not] felt before.
(p.89, l.10) Before long[,] green signals
(p.89, l.18) in front of the big [huge] clock
(p.89, l.20) on the crisp clear [bracing] autumn face
(p.91, l.03) 'Let's go!' ['Yeah, let's!']
(p.91, l.08) someone who looked like [resembled] a redcap.
(p.91, l.15) the train had [seemed to have] gone somewhere
(p.93, l.02) He spoke as if in a dream...
(p.93, l.04) of crystals.[,' he said as if in a dream.]
(p.93, l.04) [']There's a tiny
(p.93, l.06) 'That's right!' ['Yeah!'] exclaimed
(p.93, l.08) All of the pebbles [small stones] on the bed
(p.93, l.09) some of them flawed [crumpled] and folded
(p.93, l.23) a sports ground, jutting out to the line of the river [following the course of the river].
(p.93, l.24) A number of poeple nearby [They could see the small figures of a number of people who] seemed
(p.95, l.14) sitting [by them] in the sand.
(p.97, l.02) went ahead carrying [holding] their
(p.97, l.14) shovelling [shoveling] with scoops.
(p.97, l.17) be gentle [go easy] with it
(p.97, l.19) A [The] massive pale skeleton
(p.97, l.22) The rock itself[, which bore two cloven hoof prints,] had been
(p.97, l.23) squares[.] which bore two cloven hoof prints.
(p.101, l.04) in the neighbourhood [neighborhood] of,
(p.101, l.17) a specimen [out] of it?'
(p.101, l.18) we need it [this] as evidence.
(p.101, l.19) this place is [to be] a
(p.101, l.24) your shovel [scoop] on
(p.103, l.09) Well, goodbye.' And having said this, he started running [Well, goodbye then,' he said, rushing] helter-skelter about, [and] supervising things
(p.103, l.20) they passed [by] the riverbed... [river bed.]
(p.103, l.21) the [The] light on the ticket gate [gradually] grew gradually larger
(p.103, l.22) larger and larger...[,]
94頁
「おや,変なものがあるよ。」カムパネルラが,不思議そうに立ちどまって,岩から黒い細長いさきの尖ったくるみのようなものをひろいました。
'Hey, I found something weird,' said Campanella puzzled, stopping to pick up what looked like a long narrow black walnut with a pointy end.
「くるみの実だよ。そら,沢山ある。流れてきたんじゃない。岩の中に入ってるんだ。」
'It's a walnut! Look, they're all over the place, probably carried along by the river. They're in the rock too!
「大きいね,このくるみ,倍あるね。こいつはすこしもいたんでない。」
'They're big for walnuts. This one's twice as big as normal. And this one's in perfect shape.'
赤字部分の「流れてきたんじゃない。」は読み方によっては,「推量」とも「否定」ともとれる表現ですが,翻訳では probably や too からみてとれるように,明らかに「推量」と解しています。一方,オーディオブックCD『宮沢賢治「銀河鉄道の夜 Nokto de la Galaksia Fervojo」』(パンローリング)のカムパネルラ役の声優の方はきっぱりと「否定」と解した言い方をしています。
さて,あなたならどちらに解しますか?
9. 鳥を捕る人 *Last updated: 2016/6/17
(p.107, l.06) and carrying his things in a huge bundle that was wrapped in white cloth
(p.109, l.06) two boys [and smiling,] as if something in them was taking him
(p.109, l.18) suddenly and in a quarreling tone that made
(p.111, l.02) down the track.[, he said with his cheeks twitching. ']Birdcatchin's my line.'
(p.115, l.13) ['Good heavens,] It [it] ain't funny an' it ain't dubious
(p.119, l.04) as if it were made of chocolate.
(p.119, l.18) he didn't stop munching away on it.
(p.119, l.20) 'Have a [another] bite more,' said the birdcatcher,
(p.123, l.15) taken the plunge [and come out with it].
(p.123, l.17) lookng [in a] frightfully rushed [tizzy].
(p.123, l.18) and [, in a flash,] was soon nowhere to be seen.
(p.125, l.17) on a 60° [60-degree] angle,
(p.125, l.18) legs hand over fist, [and] pinning them down
(p.125, l.21) a hazy white colour [color]
(p.127, l.13) next to him... [.]
(p.127, l.18) the herons which he had just caught
(p.127, l.19) stacking them in a neat pile[s].
(p.129, l.04) realised [realized]
(p.129, l.05) where in the world he came [had come] from.
10. ジョバンニの切符 (p.131-p.143) *Last updated: 2016/8/30
(p.131, l.03) Outside the window[,]four big black buidings
(p.131, l.12) a single[, exquisite, green] convex lens of rare green [lens-like shape.
(p.133, l.04) encircled in the formless[,]soundless liquid of
(p.133, l.10) came up to their seats and spoke...[.]
(p.133, l.11) 'Please have your tickets ready.'[, he said.]
(p.135, l.05) so why not give [I may as well hand] it to him!
(p.135, l.19) Cross in the neighbourhood [neighborhood]
(p.139, l.14) Four-Dimensional-Milky-Way-Dream [Four Dimensional Milky Way Dream] Train.
(p.141, l.02) felt very [indescribably] sorry
(p.141, l.18) turn toward the birdcatcher ... ... The[the] birdcatcher
(p.143, l.11) was going to get in our way.'
(p.143, l.13) never been able to express it [in words].
11. 船の遭難者 (p.143-p.159) *Last updated: 2016/10/23
(p.145, l.13) No, it's the State [state] of
(p.147, l.21) but look up...see?[. See?]
(p.149, l.14) sing out with everything you've go.'
(p.149, l.19) finally beginning to understand a little [catch up].
(p.151, l.02) exactly twelve days out...today,
(p.151, l.03) yesterday...[,] the ship hit an iceberg,
(p.151, l.09) 'I realised [realized] that in a moment
(p.151, l.15) [Yet,] I still felt though that
(p.151, l.21) The next moment though [Then] I
(p.151, l.22) and take [on] the entire sin
(p.155, l.24) that had [just] slipped from [out of] their mind.
(p.157, l.15) up and down the mountain [high points and the low points] to real happiness.'
12. 姉弟と苹果 (p.159-p.169) *Last updated: 2016/12/14
(p.159, l.06) as if out of [in] a magic lantern
(p.159, l.11) appeared like a pale [bank of] mist, and
(p.165, l.15) glowing red, a bewildering [staggeringly] tall triangular
(p.165, l.16) in its very centre [center].
(p.165, l.24) light-green meadow... or carpet... [,] and
(p.167, l.08) feel very selfconscious [suddenly awkward].
(p.167, l.13) by the tuft sticking out [up] from
(p.167, l.15) in the green [blue] forest
(p.169, l.05) The blue torchwood grove, sparkling
(p.169, l.06) cerestial river, moved gradually
(p.169, l.07) while the mysterious music [from the mysterious instruments] streaming out of it was almost [completely] drowned out
(p.169, l.14) coming [flickering] off the peacocks
(p.169, l.15) closed their [pale] feathers above a [the] grove
13. 信号手 (p.171-p.193) *Last updated: 2017/3/6
(p.171. l.11) an unbelievable clamour [clamor]
(p.175. l.04) and [then] it was [turned] perfectly quiet.
(p.175. l.05) the red-capped signaller [signaler] once again wave his blue [blue-green] flag , yelling out in a voice as clear as a bell... [.]
(p.175. l.10) birds to migrate!' [he yelled in a voice as clear as a bell.]
(p.175. l.24) to teach [guide] the birds?'
(p.177. l.01) asked Campanella softly [faintly].
(p.177. l.14) way beyond [the far bank].
(p.179. l.06) face by the waterline on the opposite bank
(p.179. l.11) and boasting [brimming with] kernels
(p.181. l.08) The milky-white [pale-white] clock
(p.181. l.13) the clock, came [wafted] their way
(p.181. l.14) the far fringes [farthest fringe] of the field.
(p.185. l.06) to creep along[,] as Campanella
(p.185. l.08) it's all high prairie [towering plateaus] up here,'
(p.185. l.19) Giovanni was struck by a thought [It dawned on Giovanni]...
(p.187. l.03) as Giovanni.[, while] Campanella was
(p.187. l.06) of prairie [plain] from one horizon
(p.187. l.10) in his taut [little] bow,
(p.187. l.15) 'Gosh, it's an Indian!' crided Tadashi [Kaoru].
(p.187. l.15) 'Look, [it's] an Indian!'
(p.187. l.19) exclaimed Kaoru [she said].
(p.187. l.23) as if unaware of [and forgetting] where he was [for the moment].
(p.187. l.24) or dancing [doing a dance].'
(p.187. l.02) dance ...his [. His] step
(p.187. l.03) methodical to be a sprint [for a dash].
(p.187. l.08) dashed [sprinted] ahead
(p.187. l.17) shining back far down
14. 蠍の火 (p.193-p.207) *Last updated: 2017/4/15
(p.193. l.06) steeply clanking [clanking steeply]
(p.193. l.13) [Large] wild pinks
(p.193. l.14) bank, where the train [bank. The train]
(p.195. l.23) 'The number of fish in this river is amazing.' ['This river is just crawling with fish.']
(p.197. l.22) to the meadow [fields]
(p.199. l.15) turned a sudden red [all of a sudden]
(p.199. l.16) throwing what looked like willows [and everything] into
(p.199. l.17) was burning [blazing]
(p.199. l.19) The [dancing] flame
(p.203. l.09) insect.' [,' said Kaoru.]
(p.203. l.11) He's [It's]
(p.203. l.21) when he saw this well [out of the blue there was this wellin front of him]
(p.207. l.02) fire... three [.Three] tureets making [made] up a scorpinon's front legs [,] with
(p.207. l.06) the distance [,] everyone
15. サザンクロス (p.207-p.215) *Last updated: 2017/4/15
(p.207. l.23) 'I never miss a ball that's thrown to me,' boasted Tadashi inexplicably.
(p.209. l.20) better than Heaven right here.'
(p.211. l.20) at that instant...far downstream, emerging [at that instant. Far downstream, there emerged,]
(p.211. l.23) colour [color]
(p.213. l.06) heard...and [heard, and]
(p.213. l.09) more white [whiter
(p.213. l.16) electric [lamppost] lights
(p.213. l.19) and made [, making]
(p.213. l.24) trying to hold [holding]
(p.215. l.02) with suffering... [in pain,] then silently , left.
(p.215. l.03) half-empty...then, [, and]
(p.215. l.08) on the [shore of] Milky Way's
(p.215. l.09) a godlike [holy] figure
(p.215. l.11) at that very moment[,]
16. 約束 (p.215-p.223) *Last updated: 2017/4/15
(p.215. l.22) The little pea-coloured [pea-colored]
(p.219. l.07) that white sand [shore]
(p.219. l.07) gone off [somewhere] to their heaven.
(p.219. l.18) 'Don't ask me,' ['Search me,']
(p.221. l.01) as he looked [peered] down
(p.221. l.11) Giovanni. Oh look over there,' [Giovanni. Oh,']
(p.221. l.12) a distant field. That is [a distant field, 'that's]
(p.221. l.21) like [folded] arms.
(p.223. l.07) go black all at once.
17. カンパネルラ (p.223 - END) *Last updated: 2017/5/06
(p.223. l.09) of [on] the hill.
(p.223. l.14) countless, just as before
(p.223. l.16) Way[,] where he had just dreamt himself to[,] was
(p.223. l.18) southern horizon[,] with
(p.225. l.10) A man in thick [heavy] white pants
(p.225. l.23) ‛That's okay fine.'
(p.227. l.15) close by.
(p.227. l.18) them, and [as] they all
(p.229. l.13) , running toward him [up].
(p.231. l.03) where everyone was waiting [milling about].
(p.231. l.19) river of [that was] only sky.
(p.231. l.21) and say... [, '] Boy, did I ever swim![']
(p.233. l.11) he wanted to say... [,] but
(p.223. l.19) He was [he asked,] still gripping
(p.227. l.15) his legs would carry [take] him